Loki entered my life recently and started a cascade of changes that have been coming for some time. When I write that he entered my life recently, what I really mean is that he’s been here, hanging around, waiting for me to acknowledge him for a really long time and I finally let him in. A month or two ago I wondered aloud if someone like Loki or Mercury wanted me to work with them, and then I heard a loud crash followed by the sound of hard pellets bouncing on the floor in the next room. Faye (one of my cats) knocked the large Tupperware of cat food off of the counter. That was a pretty clear sign.
For most of my life I’ve been entirely closed off to working with masculine deities. No thanks, I’ve had enough masculine energy in my life. I know what men can do. Zero trust there. So when it came to Loki, we’d have these small encounters and then I would put distance. I’m drawn to Trickster beings and their humorous portrayals, though. They’re disarming to me. “Discord” from My Little Pony (I watched that entire series when I was horribly ill for 6 months and thought I was dying) is a favorite fictional shapeshifting character of chaos. I’ve argued why I would prefer Loki (from the Marvel movies) to Thor in the context of a romantic relationships. I’ve argued the many merits of Loki as a deity even though I was also, hypocritically, ignoring him and keeping him out of my life. He would just show up in a different form, one that was safe for me, and continue to work with me, though. I know this now that I’ve finally let him in.
I’m drawn to deities most people shy away from or actively dislike. No one I know works with the Lady of the Lake, seeing her more as an archetypal legend than the mistress of magick that she is. Hekate was unpopular when I first met her and many still actively fear her. Loki isn’t favored among people either. My life is richer, my healing work is streamlined, and I’m a better witch and person because of the teachings of these deities, though.
Before I said yes to Loki I completed a divination to find out if it was, in fact, he who was giving me signs. He’s probably the most blunt deity to ever come through in a reading and I laughed out loud at his message: “FINALLY! Yes! Took you long enough! I’ve been giving you signs!”
So when I did say yes to walking with Loki in my life (a few minutes after that divination) his first words to me were, “don’t google me.” I’m certain he prefers I get to know him through experience rather than the opinions of others. That’s really the only true way to get to know any Spirit, though. The opinions and experiences of others can never substitute for direct, personal, experiences and encounters. I’ve always preferred to let beings (human, spirit, etc) show me who they are rather than judge them by the perceptions of others.
Now that Loki is active in my life I can see how he’s been around me since I can remember. Certain signs suddenly make sense. He taught me how to camouflage myself when I needed it when I was younger, how to see the good in the bad and the bad in the good, how to speak hard truths, and how to be cunning. I just didn’t realize who it was for all these years because I wasn’t open to him as himself.
It’s been a lot of fun since Loki has entered my life, but it hasn’t been all fun. I’ve had more occurrences of nightmares (the kind that wake you up) since I’ve begun to walk with him. He may be hilarious and fun and supportive, but he will also drive hard truths home and force changes that shake up your entire life. At least he helps me keep a light heart with it. I’m laughing a lot more now that we’re becoming close, and despite whatever I may be going through.
I feel blessed to walk through life with Loki and the other deities who’ve chosen me. Loki insists that I learn to really love and indulge in life, and he’s a fantastic teacher. Air dominates my chart, but Loki gets me out of my head. If nothing else, not being afraid to use all the resources you have at your disposal, and learning to stop drawing arbitrary lines in the sand of what you can and can’t do, is a very good and important lesson that Loki teaches. And, as he’s told me, there’s really no good god damn reason to hold back from living as fully and fantastically as you can with all that you have.